Tag Archives: Flow

Finally Flowing Again!

I felt the flow come in strong this afternoon and couldn’t resist making another little video. The subject is Prayer… and Silliness! They CAN go together, believe it or not!

Blessings, everyone!

Cowabunga, Baby: Getting Back on the Board

CowabungaHi, everyone. It has been weeks since I wrote or shot a video.  Because I started the year out with this big burst of FLOW energy, you might wonder what the heck happened. Did I fall off the wave? Absolutely! Did I get back on the board? Absolutely! Did I wipe out again? Absolutely!

That’s the energy of the world these days…extreme rides, crash-and-burns, recoveries. Even the most excellent energy “surfers” (of which I’m not yet one) come off the board. That’s how they know they are going for it! And if the waves are large enough (as they certainly have been) the tumble is as spectacular as the ride.

And here is another fun fact about FLOW: it can’t exist without its less popular twin, EBB.  Even if you are not plummeting in a news-worthy nose-dive, there still comes a time when the high-ride ends. Until the next one.

This is all obvious stuff I’m telling you, but in the metaphoric sense, we tend to think we have done something wrong if we are falling or ebbingAnd in truth, we might be spending too much time watching from the safe and sunny sand. Or conversely, we might be somewhat addicted to the adrenaline of wrestling with sharks. Those are worthy questions to ask, but we also need to remind ourselves that there are phases in flow. Energy, by its very nature, moves.

I am finishing a huge, six-week kitchen renovation, and it has been a wild ride, let me tell you, with multiple highs and lows. From budgeting and design deliberations… to ripping out and building back. From household chaos, noise, dust, fumes and family stress…to delicious, delightful transformation. From power-brokering with contractor and crew…to finding balance and acceptance with my own, often overwrought, perfectionistic vision and the real-world of compromise and letting go. But I built something. I built something beautiful.

Today, it’s gray and moody here in sunny, southern California. Rain is in the forecast. And there’s no one in the house but me for a couple more hours. Writing weather! So here I am, paddling out, getting back on the writing board.  It’s not a big one, but I’m in the water!!!

Gnarly, dude!

 

Vlog #4 – Getting “Should” Out of Your Vocabulary

I’m not sure what has happened to me. It’s like an extrovert has crawled into my head and made a nest there. If you had told me a year ago, I would be making videos of myself and posting them on youtube, then blogging about it, I would say you were out of your mind! But here I am with Vlog #4, and I haven’t died from it yet. I actually get a kick out of the whole process.

One of the gifts of getting older (if we can embrace it) is getting one’s priorities sorted out. The freedom I have felt in the process of surrendering self-consciousness is really worth every drop of potential embarrassment that putting myself on screen could generate. And I’ve come to see that self-consciousness is just as much an ego-trip as being full of one’s self! Its just the miserable end of that spectrum! So I’m seeking and finding the Middle Way, on this subject of self-exposure, as in so many other ways in my life.

This video #4 is about getting around RESISTANCE. The method I’m experimenting with here has to do with cutting the word “should” from my vocabulary! That may sound too simplistic to be effective, but I’ve been doing this for several weeks now, and I have to say there is something to it.  “Should” is a FLOW-STOPPER! It has both desire and aversion all wrapped up in one word! The minute I say I should do anything, the chances of actually doing that thing drop to almost 0. The resistance slips in under the radar and stops me dead cold.

But by replacing “should” with “want” I have discovered that resistance has to make itself known, and it has to stand alone.  I WANT to be brave enough to make these videos!  I WANT to BE the change, not just wish for it, with regard to overcoming ageism and perfectionism and engaging a healthy ego in service to my creative spirit! I WANT these things, despite my resistance, which shows up in so many mean whispers in the ear, all basically boiling down to, “Who do you think you are?”

But as I say in the video…when we replace “I should” with “I want, despite my resistance,” we align ourselves with the “want,” and our oppositional alter-ego is moved to the other side of the room! We may still give in to it, but a habitual neuropathway is nevertheless being broken, and we stand a much better fighting chance in our next encounter. So that is my practice… in making these videos, in getting more exercise, in cutting back the carbs, in leaning in to vulnerability. I’m wanting these things, despite my resistance, and I’m thrilled to report that I’m actually having some victories over that sneaky, life-sucking voice! 😉

So next time you find yourself saying, “I should….” try replacing it with “I want,” and see if you can move resistance farther and farther away from your ear. Give it a try and get back to me!

Blessings, ya’ll.

Vlog 3 – Gratitude

Here is my third vlog, y’all.  Its’ raining in LA, and I’m feeling gratitude! I’m also dealing with some clogged drains, some window leaks, and  cold! But that’s life, isn’t it?  We get a sprinkling of the “good” and a sprinkling of the “bad.” But where do we put our focus?  I’m choosing gratitude today!

Blessings!

Vlog 2 – Letting Go of Perfectionism

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone.

I don’t usually post twice in one week, but since I posted my first video blog earlier in the week, I felt like I needed to do another one right away, so that it wouldn’t become an anomaly. Get back on the horse, in other words.  (The horse didn’t really throw me, but it was a scary ride. Thrilling but scary!)

Here’s my next one, still on the subject of FLOW!

Blessings!

 

My First Vlog

Check me out!  I’m getting braver! Today I was “told” by my intuition to make a video of myself about today’s spiritual practice (I’m usually behind the camera).  And to my own surprise, I said yes!

INTUITION is the topic for my writing group’s next six-week series, and it fits beautifully with my “soul word” for 2016, FLOW. (Each year at a beautiful winter Solstice ceremony here in Los Angeles, led by my friend and mentor, Diana Lang, we invite a word or idea to rise up in our awareness, which then becomes a spiritual theme for the year ahead. My word was flow, and I’m amazed at all that has already flowed my way since receiving it.)

FLOW does ask one to be adventurous, though! So here I go!

Blessings!

 

Riding the Waves of Flow

PerfectionismThe perfectionist fixes one line of a poem over and over – until no lines are right. The perfectionist redraws the chin line on a portrait until the paper tears. The perfectionist writes so many versions of Scene One that she never gets to the rest of the play. The perfectionist writes, paints, creates with one eye on her audience. Instead of enjoying the process, the perfectionist is constantly grading the results. The perfectionist has married the logic side of the brain. The critic reigns supreme in the perfectionist’s creative household.

-Julia Cameron, The Artists Way

Well, hell. That is me. No wonder writing, which I love with all my heart, can feel like such a chore! I’ve killed many a poem this way.

Yes, yes, I have known I am a perfectionist for a long time, and have worked for years to let it go. The fact that I put up a website at all is evidence that I have made some progress on that score! But the practice is ongoing, and something about those lines above cracked the shell a little bit more.

Maybe it’s the times. Maybe it is this constriction we have all been feeling, with pockets of relief that are so counter to the squeeze we feel we could fly. It’s a high/low time, that’s for sure.

For those of us who want to give Light, be Light, we’ve been coming up hard against the rocks in the river. At least that’s what’s happening in my circle. Is it happening to you? Are you feeling slammed in the fast current?

The message I’m getting this morning is to just let it go! Just be! Just write! Just ride! Just live! We can’t direct this thing, as much as our controlling selves want to. We can do our best to stay in the raft. And if we end up in the water, we can crawl back on board. And if we end up with a bump on the head from the tumble, we can let it scramble our brains a little. We need our brains scrambled.

So that’s it. That’s the message for today. Can you feel the shift in my tone? I’m giving it a try. Wide open. You might even find a typo here. Lord, help me.